15 February 2018

Single On Valentines Day


I would like to preface this post by saying that I am tired, single and currently slightly angry at the male species and while I am letting that influence this ever so slightly, these are genuine ideas that I've had for quite some time. Last year, I had a boyfriend for Valentines Day, this year I don't, and to tell you the absolute truth, I'm not that torn up about it. I don't feel lonely, which I know is the common stereotype for single women on V Day, but here I am. Leading up, I was a bit bitter and not in the best regards when I thought about Valentines, but today, I'm completely okay with the fact that I'm a free bird. I spent a long time grappling with my previous breakup (it was hard) and I was so sure that come Valentines Day, I was going to feel like crap. Au contraire.

I'm writing this post at 11:18 pm, Valentines Day night, and looking back on the day, I've noticed a few things. Yes, I felt a little pang of missing my ex, but that came and went rather quickly. I saw multiple couple today, expressing love in some form, and instead of feeling sad and lonely, I smiled simply because of how sweet and pure their actions were. I laughed, had fun and ate my weight in chocolate. I spent time with people I love, and honestly that made the biggest impact.


I'm a big believer in g/palentines, but I've never quite had a friend group in which I celebrated it. I do now. I have two wonderful girls by my side, whom I spent most of today with. We didn't do anything particularly exciting, and I think that's what made it perfect. It was relaxed, and very much go by the flow. We did homework together, went for coffee, and walked around downtown. We took pictures, and chatted and genuinely didn't have a true care in the world for a couple of hours.

We're all currently trudging through our own boy troubles (ugh) and today was a breath of fresh air. We kind of had a male ban. Today was just for the girls, and it completely took all the pressure and stigma off of what I consider a day for commercialized forms of affection. It's basically just a giant day of Hallmark ads... Moving away from the cynicism, I feel like I've come to a few conclusions on how I plan to do my future single Valentines Days


A Day For The Girls
Gather a couple of my close, single girls fiends and just spend the day doing whatever we so desire. No bounds, no time restraints, no men. Take the day to build and grow female friendships, because the gal pals will be the ones to stick by you when the going gets tough.

Chocolate
It's cliche for a reason, it works. Stuff your face. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be a heartbroken mess of a single girl to eat your weight in chocolate. I do this most days and I'm doing okay (eh). It tastes good, and bougie and honestly, if you are a little bit of a heartbroken mess, nothing bandages the bricks like some really good chocolate.

Be Bold
Wear something crazy. Do you makeup in a way you never do. Style your hair like a haute couture model. Do something you wouldn't usually do, and bask in the glory that you don't like a shit what other people think because you are beautiful and you rock whatever look you put on. Be confidant in the change, because there is nothing to hold you back, and nothing to tie you down but your own fear and doubt. Tell the annoying little voice in your head to shut up, because today is a to do something different and to love yourself for it.

Single, But Not Alone
Don't buy into the trash that being single makes you alone. No. It doesn't. Breaking news, there's more to life than having a significant other. There are friends, family, pets, etc who love you. I promise you, you're never alone.


With six minutes to go until the official end of Valentines Day (can you tell I seriously procrastinated writing this post), I want to leave you with that fact that I don't believe my ideas on the subject of Valentines Day become obsolete tomorrow. Just because the day that is commercially promoted by ever single flipping card company EVER is over, doesn't mean the sometimes nasty feelings can that arise when someone is single go away. We're constantly subjected to romance, love and couples through the media, in our everyday lives, in art, even our culture. Sometimes, it's hard to stomach, especially when you feel alone. The day is now over, I am still single, but  know that never, yesterday, today, last week, next month, I am not alone. And neither are you.

How was your Valentines Day? 

-xx-


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