Autumn always seems to bring about the biggest changes in my life.
It’s taken me over a decade to recognize the pattern but now I can see it clear as day. Some changes have been good, some not so much. My biggest battles were created in the Autumn, as were my biggest accomplishments. Despite all the unfortunate events that I have endured throughout the change-filled season, it still remains my favorite, simply because of the wonderful little things that come with it.
A lot has happened in the last two weeks, which is why I’ve been quite quiet. I turned 18 and I got into college, just to name a few. If those weren’t shell-shocking moments where I realized I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life nor what I really want to do, I don’t know what will be. To say I’m absolutely terrified would be an understatement. At the moment, I’m just taking it one day at a time, hoping that each day will bring an answer, an idea and a laugh.
As for getting accepted to college, I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet. I can’t even imagine it on the days where I am brave enough to try. I’ll be leaving home, moving some 600 miles away and starting a new. Strange, isn’t it? I’ve been trying to distract myself by thinking about my dorm room and how on earth I’m going to be able to fit all my clothes in the tiny storage unit they provide. Basically I’ve just been coming up with reasons to go shopping. But that’s not really any different from any other day so…
18. If someone asked me to describe 18 it would be as “deceptive freedom”. The pro is I’m no longer considered a child and I have more responsibilities now but the con is I’m no longer considered a child and I have more responsibilities now. There was a time, when I was really sick, that I wasn’t too sure if I was going to make it to 18. And to be here today and be able to say that I indeed made it, brings a sense of pride and accomplishment I wasn’t expecting. On a slightly happier note, I can without a doubt say that this birthday was one of the best I’ve ever had. I was surrounded by people I love, and I got to celebrate it in a really simple and chill way. I’m not too big on huge parties so the idea of having a birthday party pretty much makes me cringe. Fortunately I was able to just celebrate with my parents, boyfriend and a couple close friends. Pretty much perfect in my view.
Autumn’s almost over, Christmas and New Years is almost among us, and I’m very excited for next year. There’s going to be a lot of change but sometime change is the best thing for you.