It’s been a whirlwind.
These past couple months have been jam-packed. It’s to the point where I’m completely exhausted in every form and only surviving on “venti iced tea lemonades” from Starbucks. Those things pack a serious punch. There has been and is going to be some major changes in my life, and the only way that I know how to process everything is by writing about it. So here I am.
Going chronologically, in early June I graduated from high school. It’s still sort of mind-boggling to think about. I got to do the whole cap and gown, walking down the stage in front of the entire class, shake the principle’s hand and smile for a photo with my diploma thing. I almost didn’t do the walk as I was very sick the night before, but I powered through and drank about eighteen bottles of water. I actually smuggled a water bottle up the sleeve of my gown because there was no way I was going to sit for three hours without away to ease my angry stomach. It’s such a strange feeling to be done, but I’m excited to be finished with that portion of my education and ready to move on to bigger and better things.
Speaking of moving on to bigger and better things, as of September, I’m moving 600 miles away for college. It’s going to be a complete 180 from my current life and I couldn’t be more excited! I’ve been itching for change lately and this is definitely the dose I need. I’m going to be attending an art school where I’m hoping to major in writing. While I’m there, I’m also hoping to improve my photography skills, which would definitely benefit this blog. While my school is a great distance away from all my family and friends, I’m sort of looking forward to being able to start a new chapter.
As some of you may know, my mom and I took a trip to Europe in late June. We visited London, Brighton and Paris over the span of two weeks and I can honestly say it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I’ve always known that I wanted to live in England at some point of my life, and now that I’ve finally been able to visit, I really hoping that point is sooner rather than later. It’s such a beautiful country, and I’m dying to go back and explore even more of the country. Paris was breath-taking. I’ve been studying french for the past five years and it was wonderful to be able to put it to use. I took some pictures from the trip and popped them into a post here, if you’d like to see them.
On a slightly less pleasant note, my boyfriend and I decided to part ways a few weeks ago. We’re both leaving home to go to school and seeing as we’re going to be hundreds of miles a part while starting new parts of out lives, we that ending out relationship on good terms now would be better than drifting a part at a later point. It’s been painful, even though it was on mutual terms. There’s something quite cutting about doing something you know is right for the long run, but is so painful in the moment. All I can say is I hope what they say is true, time heals.
Blogging has become strenuous for me. When I first started blogging, I did it because it was fun and I could really do whatever I wanted. I felt like I had all the freedom in the world. Lately, it feels like I’m stuck. I can’t get past this self-deprecating voice that tells me that my photos aren’t good enough, my content isn’t interesting enough, etc. It’s horrible and it keeps me from putting anything up. I’ve taken hundreds of photos and thought up at least fifty new posts but I just can’t bring myself to post them. I’ve never been a perfectionist so this feeling is something entirely new to me, and to be very frank, I absolutely hate it. I’m hoping that with a change of environment will bring a rush of inspiration and I’ll actually bring myself to post the content.
As more changes come and my life gets a little more exciting, I’m considering adding a few more personal tidbits to the blog. In a way, I guess I’m trying to bring my heart back into blogging, and what better way to do so by sharing it.