Hey, it’s me.
I thought about writing a love letter to you, but I realized that that would be ingenious. It’s not that I don’t love you, you are mine and I am yours, but I came to a crossroads that prevented me from writing words of infatuation. I love you, but I am not in love with you. It’s a biological obligation to love one’s creations, and you are one of mine. But unfortunately, for now, that is where we stop.
This realization made me sad, because I want to be in love with you. I want to run my hands over you –clean, bare, fresh– and feel nothing but deep affection. But I cannot. I get distracted by menial imperfections that mean nothing truly of your substance but mar what the eye can see. Bumps, redness, flakiness, draw my mind farther away from a peaceful harmony I truly want to create with you.
There are days when I feel as though we inch closer to that harmony. I feel confidant in you, and just you. I forgo the makeup I usually paint upon you, I hydrate you, I give you as much vitamin D as possible. I give you freedom and care, and in return, you gift me with a glow that can only come from the true, unfiltered you.
There are also days though, when we are no where close to harmony. Something happens, be it my fault, yours, or divine intervention, and we become two opposing sides of noncommunicable relationship. I upset you, you upset me, a never ending cycle of damage and hurt feelings. I’m sorry for those days, I truly am.
It’s not fair to ask you to change if I’m not going to as well, so I give you my word that I will try my best to do so.
I will take my makeup off of you every night before bed, it’s not fair to suffocate you under paint for hours on end when we both should be peacefully resting.
I will moisturize you so you can drink as much as you need. It’s not fair to deprive your thirst when it’s so easy to help.
I will wear sunscreen. Damage to you is damage to me.
I will exfoliate you more often. Everyone needs a deep clean every once and a while.
I want to take better care of you, I want to be better to you. I want to be a body you are proud to be on, and one you are able to shine on. I want to fall in love with you.
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